Thank you everyone for you kind postings from yesterday. Made me shed a tear or two or three.
Okay....now a confession....
I suffer from depression and anxiety "disorder". I have been hospitalized three times for this condition. I now call it "going to camp" when I have to join My People in the loony bin. I am seeing a fantastic therapist (she is an art therapist- how cool is THAT??) and have an awesome psychiatrist who monitors my meds. The condition I suffer from is called "bi-polar with anxiety and obsessive compulsive tendencies". Most of the time this is under control but is compounded by some deeper life issues that have been haunting me for most of my life. SO. With that said, I come to you to tell you that some days are better than others. I can't really ever tell when it is going to sneak up on me and bite me in the butt but making art is something that is a saving grace.
Here's the deal...I have noticed that those of us who have suffered are the ones who can "go deep" with life. It is the struggle that makes us richer and thicker and heartier and more interesting. Do you know people like this? Are YOU like this? You have bad days but they define the good days. The good days are so much sweeter having known the days that are filled with personal sorrow.
I am learning to pick up what is needed for the day and leave the rest alone. This is hard to do. Being a high achiever is a good thing but a bad thing when exhausted or trying to prove to oneself that you are GOOD or worthy or well or whatever you want to put in that slot.
So today- I may do some art or I may not. I'm not feeling all that great but that is subject to change. It can change at any moment and often does. If you are suffering, know that this will make you richer somewhere along the way. If you are free from that, then do a dance. Breathe deeply and give thanks.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
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